Sunday, November 1, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
frustration
so i guess my happiness was premature on wednesday, because this morning at like 4 am we broke up again. i think that a relationship can survive on pure emotion alone and whatever situation comes up will be handled then. he on the other hand believes that all of the obvious kinks should be worked out before hand. ok ur anti abortion, teach ur children that. as for me, be diligent about the birth control, use condoms, and/or don't have sex.
Relationships were so much easier when they were based on sex and no real emotions had to be displayed. i loved him and i doubt that i will feel that way for a very long time. i'm thinking of being a real bitch and just going for sex and nothing more. But i really don't want to. i like lying in his arms, being close to him, talking to him, and just being with him. sigh. we shall see what is to become of this.
Later days.
Relationships were so much easier when they were based on sex and no real emotions had to be displayed. i loved him and i doubt that i will feel that way for a very long time. i'm thinking of being a real bitch and just going for sex and nothing more. But i really don't want to. i like lying in his arms, being close to him, talking to him, and just being with him. sigh. we shall see what is to become of this.
Later days.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Been a long long time
Wow It has been quite a while. I actually lost my password so i could not access it to write about my life.
Well me and my boyfriend broke up for like 2 weeks. but now we are back together and it is going down!!!!!!
I cut my hair. it is very short, like boy short. it looks OK but i think i am going to shave it off in a couple of weeks. it would look better and i really wouldn't have to do anything to it. being bald would also help me to disguise my thinning/balding spot better. there are teachers and classmates who still have not seen my lack of hair. i think it will be amusing when they finally do see it.
My roommate is getting on my nerves. she and her friends are oh so very loud. i try to ignore them but it is very hard to do so when they are always talking. i think she should learn how to make use of her text messages cause this loud talking ain't cute. neither is screaming at whoever this boi is she be trying to talk to.
I am trying to apply to various schools but it is getting on my nerves because i have so much stuff to do and not enough time or money to do them. like i have 87 dollars in my account and i need to buy a suit, have some money to do stuff with while i am in Ohio for this grad school event and have money for homecoming. i should really look for some scholarship money.
class r going OK. as far as i know i have an a or b in all of my classes except for seminar. i have missed a couple of assignments in that class due to not doing them or forgetting about them. need to get on the ball. i dislike that class tremendously because it is so pointless. OK, we do need to know how to read an article from a scientific journal. but do we really need to know dining etiquette? what do we do if we know the etiquette but the person taking us out doesn't? plus i am not a big fan of that man. i think that when i take the second part next semester i will try to get another teacher.
I think i should get ready to meet up with this very incompetent group for this seminar presentation.
Well me and my boyfriend broke up for like 2 weeks. but now we are back together and it is going down!!!!!!
I cut my hair. it is very short, like boy short. it looks OK but i think i am going to shave it off in a couple of weeks. it would look better and i really wouldn't have to do anything to it. being bald would also help me to disguise my thinning/balding spot better. there are teachers and classmates who still have not seen my lack of hair. i think it will be amusing when they finally do see it.
My roommate is getting on my nerves. she and her friends are oh so very loud. i try to ignore them but it is very hard to do so when they are always talking. i think she should learn how to make use of her text messages cause this loud talking ain't cute. neither is screaming at whoever this boi is she be trying to talk to.
I am trying to apply to various schools but it is getting on my nerves because i have so much stuff to do and not enough time or money to do them. like i have 87 dollars in my account and i need to buy a suit, have some money to do stuff with while i am in Ohio for this grad school event and have money for homecoming. i should really look for some scholarship money.
class r going OK. as far as i know i have an a or b in all of my classes except for seminar. i have missed a couple of assignments in that class due to not doing them or forgetting about them. need to get on the ball. i dislike that class tremendously because it is so pointless. OK, we do need to know how to read an article from a scientific journal. but do we really need to know dining etiquette? what do we do if we know the etiquette but the person taking us out doesn't? plus i am not a big fan of that man. i think that when i take the second part next semester i will try to get another teacher.
I think i should get ready to meet up with this very incompetent group for this seminar presentation.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
My issues with money
So, I'm thinking about joining the peace corp. I seriously doubt that my mom or the rest of my family will support me in my endeavor but oh well. They never seem too. just about all of my family is very money oriented. They fill that there is nothing to life than to make money so that they can have STUFF.
I personally don't want money or stuff. if that were the case, I would pursue small or companion animal medicine overlarge animal. There is not as much money or better yet you will not get as much money as fast if you work with large animals.
They feel that a job is a job even if you hate it. My mom always put it as a means to an end. Well if that means that I have to work at a place where i hate myself for having to work at a certain place well i most certainly won't do it.
I prefer to work at a place that will help me to learn something that will help me in me next step. working at McDonald's or some other fast food restaurant will not help me to get a MS or PhD. It just won't the only thing that one would learn at those establishments is how to fill an order and "people skills". If my family hasn't noticed, I have become less of a people person ( not like I was much of one before).
The other reason why I believe they are so driven by money is because they never had any growing up and wanted it. I never had much either but when I did have it, I always spent it on other people. (Wonder if they have forgotten about that) I NEVER WANT ANYTHING!!!!! and when I do I can and will wait very patiently for it, because usually when I get it I will barely use it(like my DS and my digital camera). No one seems to understand me.
I feel like a burden to everyone. I don't drive, don't even have a permit. So if i want to go somewhere i have to ask someone to take me. I will try pursuing my driver's license so that when i feel like going off and walking through the woods observing nature, I can do so. My mom would say so that I can get a job. If i were to get a job for that reason, I would only work enough so that I could buy gas and pay the insurance. Any other time i worked would be so that i could go on adventures.
I feel that everyone compares me to my younger brother. Because he is actually working out in the real world. he has his own car(given to him), he has his own place, works to pay his bills, blah blah blah. He is also very materialistic and narcissistic. He is constantly buying new stuff.
Not saying that i don't like nice things, but I am very practical. I work with animals, farm animals to be exact. There is no need for me to have polo shirts and other dressy clothes that I only plan to wear like 5 times in the entire school year. I also want to be comfortable which I am in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
So to end this giant rant: i am the odd child of the family. I don't like to work mind-numbing pointless jobs. i am seen as a failure maybe even a lost cause. And I will go to school and get my MS, DVM, and maybe even a PhD. But I am definitely going to look into the peace corp and not tell any one that i did so.
I personally don't want money or stuff. if that were the case, I would pursue small or companion animal medicine overlarge animal. There is not as much money or better yet you will not get as much money as fast if you work with large animals.
They feel that a job is a job even if you hate it. My mom always put it as a means to an end. Well if that means that I have to work at a place where i hate myself for having to work at a certain place well i most certainly won't do it.
I prefer to work at a place that will help me to learn something that will help me in me next step. working at McDonald's or some other fast food restaurant will not help me to get a MS or PhD. It just won't the only thing that one would learn at those establishments is how to fill an order and "people skills". If my family hasn't noticed, I have become less of a people person ( not like I was much of one before).
The other reason why I believe they are so driven by money is because they never had any growing up and wanted it. I never had much either but when I did have it, I always spent it on other people. (Wonder if they have forgotten about that) I NEVER WANT ANYTHING!!!!! and when I do I can and will wait very patiently for it, because usually when I get it I will barely use it(like my DS and my digital camera). No one seems to understand me.
I feel like a burden to everyone. I don't drive, don't even have a permit. So if i want to go somewhere i have to ask someone to take me. I will try pursuing my driver's license so that when i feel like going off and walking through the woods observing nature, I can do so. My mom would say so that I can get a job. If i were to get a job for that reason, I would only work enough so that I could buy gas and pay the insurance. Any other time i worked would be so that i could go on adventures.
I feel that everyone compares me to my younger brother. Because he is actually working out in the real world. he has his own car(given to him), he has his own place, works to pay his bills, blah blah blah. He is also very materialistic and narcissistic. He is constantly buying new stuff.
Not saying that i don't like nice things, but I am very practical. I work with animals, farm animals to be exact. There is no need for me to have polo shirts and other dressy clothes that I only plan to wear like 5 times in the entire school year. I also want to be comfortable which I am in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
So to end this giant rant: i am the odd child of the family. I don't like to work mind-numbing pointless jobs. i am seen as a failure maybe even a lost cause. And I will go to school and get my MS, DVM, and maybe even a PhD. But I am definitely going to look into the peace corp and not tell any one that i did so.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Happy birthday to me!!!!!
Today is my birthday and I am now 21.
I spent most of the day in America's Best getting fitted for glasses that will take me 2 weeks to get.
I am away from my sexy baby and it is making me very sad.
My mother spent much of the day fussing at me saying i need to be more independent and do things.
I got 100 dollars from my mom which i used to buy the glasses. My dad brought me back and i returned his bike to him. He didn't have any money to give me but it's ok.
Sexy baby made me some brownies and i'm going to eat 1 off of his belly. a small one... though. It would be weird if i ate a big one off of him.
That would make me a fatty McFat fatty!!!!! And we can't have that. I don't even know y i asked for brownies if i need to lose weight.
I <3 my sexy baby!!!!!!!!!!!
I spent most of the day in America's Best getting fitted for glasses that will take me 2 weeks to get.
I am away from my sexy baby and it is making me very sad.
My mother spent much of the day fussing at me saying i need to be more independent and do things.
I got 100 dollars from my mom which i used to buy the glasses. My dad brought me back and i returned his bike to him. He didn't have any money to give me but it's ok.
Sexy baby made me some brownies and i'm going to eat 1 off of his belly. a small one... though. It would be weird if i ate a big one off of him.
That would make me a fatty McFat fatty!!!!! And we can't have that. I don't even know y i asked for brownies if i need to lose weight.
I <3 my sexy baby!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Schonton got a man at school and he so good to her!!!
Exciting news!!!!!
I have a current love interest!!!!!
He is amazing.
And here are 20 reasons why:
1. He can read music.
2. He can play a several instruments. (the only ones i know are the piano and the bass drum)
3. He is so freakin smart.
4. He thinks my feet are cute.
5. He thinks that just about everything that i do is adorable.
6. He is the nicest guy that I have ever met.
7. He is funny and can make me laugh.
8. He sings although he knows he sounds bad and doesn't care.
9. He is a gentleman.
10. He lets me be me at all times.
11. He likes children although I am not all that fond of them myself.
12. He is willing to learn new things from me.
13. He is willing to teach me anything.
14. He is patient.
15. He is a great kisser.
16. He can pick me up.
17. I believe that he will do almost anything for me (even if I don't let him).
18. He has the most interesting hobbies. (Who else do you know arranges music for the band in their spare time and reads manga?)
19. He is honest.
20. HE IS MY CUDDLE BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Although he is wonderful, enough of him.
Time for an update on my life.
My birthday is in about two weeks and I have no plans whatsoever. And it makes me mad. Of course, it is during spring break so that should mean that me and my friends should be going ot the beach and getting plastered for my 21st.
But no... many of them are probably going to go home and once again I will spend my birthday on my mother's couch. I might spend it with my Cuddle Buddy if he is not playing in the basketball pep band at some tournament. That would be the oddest thing in the world, getting drinks with my mother.
I shudder just thinking about it.
I think I am going to go do some form of exercise..... I am getting way too fat. Don't think that I have gained any weight recently, but still I am like twice the minimum weight to give blood.
That brings me to a funny story. Thursday CB and I went to give blood at the blood drive that was being sponsored by Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. He couldn't donate at that time due to him spending like a year in Germany and not being able to contact his mother.
I was able to save 3 lives and went to the chair. Apparently they had that little rubber thing on my arm for a little to long because when she stuck the needle into my arm blood spurted out.
YAY!!!!!!
I later started leaking blood everywhere when they tried to collect blood for the little tubes due to the failure of some equipment that they were using.
OH GOODY!!!
That definitely made some people think twice about giving blood.
Well... It is time for me to eat my rice. Next time I will talk about my garden :-P
I have a current love interest!!!!!
He is amazing.
And here are 20 reasons why:
1. He can read music.
2. He can play a several instruments. (the only ones i know are the piano and the bass drum)
3. He is so freakin smart.
4. He thinks my feet are cute.
5. He thinks that just about everything that i do is adorable.
6. He is the nicest guy that I have ever met.
7. He is funny and can make me laugh.
8. He sings although he knows he sounds bad and doesn't care.
9. He is a gentleman.
10. He lets me be me at all times.
11. He likes children although I am not all that fond of them myself.
12. He is willing to learn new things from me.
13. He is willing to teach me anything.
14. He is patient.
15. He is a great kisser.
16. He can pick me up.
17. I believe that he will do almost anything for me (even if I don't let him).
18. He has the most interesting hobbies. (Who else do you know arranges music for the band in their spare time and reads manga?)
19. He is honest.
20. HE IS MY CUDDLE BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Although he is wonderful, enough of him.
Time for an update on my life.
My birthday is in about two weeks and I have no plans whatsoever. And it makes me mad. Of course, it is during spring break so that should mean that me and my friends should be going ot the beach and getting plastered for my 21st.
But no... many of them are probably going to go home and once again I will spend my birthday on my mother's couch. I might spend it with my Cuddle Buddy if he is not playing in the basketball pep band at some tournament. That would be the oddest thing in the world, getting drinks with my mother.
I shudder just thinking about it.
I think I am going to go do some form of exercise..... I am getting way too fat. Don't think that I have gained any weight recently, but still I am like twice the minimum weight to give blood.
That brings me to a funny story. Thursday CB and I went to give blood at the blood drive that was being sponsored by Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. He couldn't donate at that time due to him spending like a year in Germany and not being able to contact his mother.
I was able to save 3 lives and went to the chair. Apparently they had that little rubber thing on my arm for a little to long because when she stuck the needle into my arm blood spurted out.
YAY!!!!!!
I later started leaking blood everywhere when they tried to collect blood for the little tubes due to the failure of some equipment that they were using.
OH GOODY!!!
That definitely made some people think twice about giving blood.
Well... It is time for me to eat my rice. Next time I will talk about my garden :-P
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I'm Hungry!!!!!
There is a problem. I have not posted a blog in a very long time and so much has happened.
I stopped taking my meds so my emotions are through the roof. Which caused my "break up" with my friend with benefits. He said I haven't blossomed and I need to sort my life out. Probably true.
I was offered sex from a older man that I work with . CREEPY!!!!!! I laughed. and told him no.
I stopped taking my meds so my emotions are through the roof. Which caused my "break up" with my friend with benefits. He said I haven't blossomed and I need to sort my life out. Probably true.
I was offered sex from a older man that I work with . CREEPY!!!!!! I laughed. and told him no.
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