A little rant from a natural haircare forum that i am a member of

Verrrrrry long but I had to get it out.

Ma,
Why won't you accept that money and a job are not that important to me? Yea that means that I am a bum for the most part but hey I'm happy as long as I am in school. And when I think about money and getting a loan so that I can move from Georgia to IOWA you try to discourage me and then turn around and tell me to do so.

And yes I have been looking for an apartment up there. I have gotten up every morning and gone to sleep for the past 4 weeks looking for an apartment. And no I cannot find a place that pays ALL utilities that is within my budget, the best I could find is that I will have to pay electricity. Yes I have contacted these places asking them to send me pics of the places because there is no way that I can travel there to see them.

And what is it that you have against me taking all of my possessions to Iowa? Everything I have is stored in plastic bins so it isn't like it is a lot. Oh!!!! It's because you don't want to drive up there!! But you would rather spend like 600 dollars on plane tickets? When I get my DL this month, hell I'll rent a car my dayum self and drive up there by myself. Cause I will not leave my stuff to be pawed over and deteriorate in that hot *** shed at Granny's house any longer than necessary. And u keep saying that I can get it later. When? I'm going to be in gradschool doing animal research. I don't know what you think happens but animals don't take holidays and if I need to be there I will be there, cause i already don't like being with yall for more than a day.

So dear mother, u just need you to hurry up and get your stuff together so that I can get this loan cause I have no credit (thanks to you discouraging me from getting one although I did have a source of steady income while in college). And help me get this apartment. So that I can go on with my life and you can stop calling to me feel like crap.

Da,
You are really worthless to me. The only reason I call you is so that you won't feel unloved. U have no job and you can't even use the knowledge that you have gained by going to medical school and completing a residency due to the stupid and evil things that you have. Although some of those things were towards me I forgive you and wish that you will one day come out of the hell that you have made for yourself through alcohol and the misconduct that comes from it. But really in order to do so you have to get away from your family because with them it is the blind leading the hard of seeing.

Brother,
Get off of your ass!!!!! Yes you make more than your gf even though your hours have been cut but she is working two jobs to pay her bills. But I seriously doubt that she wants to come home to find that she has no clean clothes and the bedroom is dirty. And I highly doubt that after a 12+ hour work day she wants to deal with you standing in her way, falling all over her, and your usual antics. Let her come in and relax for a little bit. And if someone complains or has an issue they are not pouting. You just can be an asshole at times and belittle people when they are doing the best they can.

Oh and yea I might be a little anti-social but even if I wasn't I am weary of your friends and would rather not hang out with them. They are mostly loud and very vulgar and younger than you. How did u even meet these kids when u graduated highschool in 07 and they graduated school in 09 and 10? I don't really care about how much cooch that they get or trying to get. And i think that the one who keeps singing songs that a straight man would never sing out loud is gay. Cause he got a little too offended when u deliberately said his name in front of our waiter who we all suspected to be gay. And he puts way too much time, thought and effort into getting cooch.

Bro's gf,
Chill out!!!! I have known my bro for over 20 yrs. this is how he is. Is it good? Is it bad? no. It is just him. You might have to show him what the consequences of his actions can be if he continues to do what you don't approve of in order for him to get it. And if there is something that you would like accomplished while you are at work ask him to do it. Leave a list. I am pretty sure that he will do it. and don't let that boy treat you like you are his maid!! Let him fix his own food.

ME.
Get off your butt and exercise. You be here all day by urself can't no one see u sweating and jiggling in an effort to get skinny so u can be a bull rider in a rodeo.

Put more of an effort into the way that you look. Although you rarely go places, try to get somewhat dressed when you go outside the house.

You're living here rent free, try to help clean up. Even if you didn't make the mess.

Stop being lazy and knit or crochet something already. Yea you'll prolly be knitting stuff for yourself for a while cause no one ever uses what you make for them but hey at least you will have lots of cool stuff.

Email your professors to tell them how you are doing. They have done a lot for you so that you can succeed in life. And while you are at it email that lady from Iowa back and thank her for putting you in contact with some folks from your alma mater because networking will get you places.

Thanks for reading if you stayed around for all that. :)

Been feeling kinda down on myself again. I was feeling kinda good until my friend starts to talk about the number of jobs that she has and how I don't have one. She has like 3 while I have not a one.
I mean to me money is not all that important. I know that I need it so that I can have the things that I need. But sometimes I feel that some of the things that people feel that they "need" are optional, like furniture and a tv.
This convo all sparked from me telling her the good news that I got accepted into Iowa State University. and that I will be getting about 1600 a month as a stipend and I have to live off of that amount. And then we discussed how I will need to secure a loan so that I can move up there and pay for my housing. I guess I need to look for me a job.
She has the same mentality as my mother: get a job where ever you can cause money is money. I am one who likes to be happy or at least enjoy what it is that I am doing. Like I really really really don't want to work in fast food again. I feel that if I had to everyone would know how much I hate it. lol. I think I would sink into a depression and damn near suffocate in it.

Well I guess the only thing for me to do is to look for a job. so that I can have some type of money when I go to Iowa to start a whole new life. Well time to go getting a headache.

Hey hey hey

Ok well. I am staying with my brother and his girlfriend. It is going ok. except for the fact that I don't know anyone here and I am bored out of my mind. i have been looking for a job for quite some time now but no one is calling me back or even hiring. But I still have places that I want to apply to so we shall see. i really should try to see if any of the vet clinics are hiring. those will help me get a foot in the door when I do apply to vet school.

I am getting in more practice driving and I must say that I am getting better true I usually drive at night and have not driven on the interstate yet but hey practice is practice. I am getting the opportunity to practice in two separate and totally different vehicles; Lisa's Audi and my brother's Ford F150. So I am getting a little variety.

For the most part I spend my days inside being VERRRRRRRYYYYYY bored. I am like in solitary confinement. I have gotten to the point where watching tv is boring and I am getting tired to listening to the music that I have. I attempt to knit and crochet but it just isn't working for me. I do take enjoyment from going to the flea market on the weekends and going shopping. I really should cut back on doing those things cause I only have like $169 in my checking account and that has to last for quite some time or until I get a job. But when I go to the flea market I usually buy strings(supposed to be necklaces) of semiprecious beads that are 2/$5 which is a pretty good deal.And I buy vegetables from the Hispanic vendors. I have also used up all of my gift cards that I have gotten. I spent the last of my old navy one yesterday on two sweaters and some scarves. They were were in the clearance section and on sale so hey why not. Plus, I don't have any sweaters and those scarves will look cute on my head.

I have been attempting to pass the time by playing with my hair. It is still pretty short so there isn't much that I can do with it; I just wash it and pick it out and if I go out put a scarf or hat on.

I really wish that I could go into my closet more often and freely rummage through my stuff but unfortunately there is a mouse in it and in order to keep from escaping and wrecking havoc on my room I have it barricaded in there with a weight bar and some weights.

Well I am getting tired and have a headache. laters.

It comes to an end

Well today was the last day of classes for most seniors and i didn't even go to class. I was up way too late hanging out with friends. Now I am up trying to pull an all-nighter for a final tomorrow at 1. So much to do this week and not enough time to do it in or so I think.

I am also kinda sad that the school year and undergraduate life is coming to an end because the security that I felt is gone. I have no idea what I am doing this summer and if I will be in a graduate program this upcoming fall. And if they both fall through I am applying for the Peace Corps and not telling anyone until the date of my departure. :~P
I feel as if I am homeless because I have no permanent resident. My mother has moved so many times and I feel like an annoying guest to the rest of my family members, and really dislike going to stay with them. The 10pm "suggested" bedtimes and them griping and complaining when i wake up at 8am. UGH!!!! I really don't understand y she chooses to live in tiny apartments when I do not have a job. i guess she is trying to make me get a job so that I will have a place to stay, but whatever. I also find it annoying that all she ever focuses on is the fact that I do not have a job; well I also have no bills so y do I need to get a job an y does she hate the idea of me getting advanced degrees. While at the same time I doubt that she fusses at my brother for not being in school although she claims that "it breaks her heart" that my brother isn't in school.

Well I will show her and everyone else that I am not a failure by being more successful than they ever imagined that I could be. Which I doubt they ever did. I am pretty sure some of them thought that I wouldn't graduate college. I thoroughly dislike her. Boooo and hissss!!! lol

New Route

I have returned. I think that I will use this blog to monitor my exercise and diet changes. I really need to lose weight, I feel fat and lazy.

I am almost completely done applying to the two universities, although I need to find at least one more to apply to. And i also need to find an internship for the summer, being that I am about to graduate in May. YAY!!!!!!

Me and the young man are back together, but the future is uncertain but I am optimistic about it. I think I am going to do something unexpected for the bday just gotta find what he will like. I think that he doesn't want me to do too much because he won't be able to return it; but whatever I am going to do it cause I love him. Yea I said it. lol

But back to everything. I think I will make this blog about a number of things, like I stated before. I think I will make it about weight loss and my hair. My hair is kinda a sore spot for me because it never does what I want it to do. I feel as if it hates me at time. lol

But to the point:
Brunch: eggs, grits, ham, french toast sticks, syrup, and apple juice
Dinner: Turkey burger with lettuce, tomato, and ketchup, french fries, and fruit punch-lemonade

• ok I noticed that there was not a lot of vegetables or fruit in that meal hmmm. need to get the cafe to have better fruit that i want.
• more water is needed
• but i must keep in mind that i only eat foods that require syrup on the weekends(as a treat)
• eat more fruits and veggies and maybe a little less protein

hair regimen: make glycerin, water, and oil spritz. use it daily!!!

exercise: stretches and some crunches, jumping jacks and modified push ups with yoga

need to look into getting some equipment.